I learned about fear in 2009. Sure, I had been fearful before, but this was different. My guru had removed many things from within me from past lives that caused me to lose my mind for a week. I guess he didn’t realize how severe the effects of his work were. Fortunately, with a few months of counseling and cabernet sauvignon, I got better. I think the angels helped too. But, I felt terror. My mind was not working normally. I had horrible dreams and visions all the time. Recurring terrifying thoughts that just wouldn’t stop. I don’t know other people who went through that, so it is hard to say if that is normal. What does normal mean anyway — at least what does it normally mean?
People get up and make speeches about how fear can cripple you. One of our former presidents had a speech where he claimed that the only thing to fear is fear itself. God created an ability to have fear within us to protect us. Without fear, we will die out. But, fear can cripple you as well.
During my week of paranoia, I came to a realization. I saw that the fear went straight to my body, and paralyzed my ability to think straight as well. I realized that I would have to not entertain fearful thoughts, or I might have to be hospitalized. It was no laughing matter. Thoughts rushed through my head. What if I can no longer function, what if I lose my business, what if I lose my sanity altogether? I have nobody to take care of me. I would lose everything. I learned that fearing doesn’t help anything, but just makes things worse. It causes chemical reactions to happen in your mind and body. At any rate, I became calmer and calmer. I had to stop meditating for a few months to recover from the mental trauma. Some of my neurons were indeed damaged for years which accounted for bizarre mental images that were recurring. They stopped, and some of them came back periodically over the years. In any case, I got used to it. After a few months, I started meditating again, and gained a very deep sense of calm. I guess whatever my guru removed was really hampering my spiritual development. I am happy to have the bad things removed from my soul, although I wish it could have been done in a way that was safer.
In any case, I lived the reality that I had to discipline my mind to deal with fear effectively.
As business people, we need to make decisions daily. We need to deal with difficult and sometimes scary situations. The tax collecters can be corrupt, dangerous and downright malicious. I had a horrible run in with those people. At first I panicked. But, then, I remembered my horrible experienced from 2009. I decided that I will fight a disciplined fight. In the long run I will be okay no matter what and that God would protect me. I controlled my fear, got an attorney, and took care of business.
You can also have bad situations with critical employees who you can not replace easily. It is scary. Do you have the capacity to consdition yourself to get really calm, and make a calculated decision? As a business owner you absolutely have to have this ability to control your emotions — otherwise you will break when you have a sudden problem.