A call center where they pretend to be in the same room with you

People who work at call centers tend not to be the most imaginative. And they tend to burn out quickly as well. It might be more fun if there were a way to spice up the call center business a bit.

Whenever I make business calls, I always apologize profusely for how I am dressed and ask if they like the fragrance I’m wearing. Sometimes I ask if it bothers them that I am not dressed at all. I can imagine a motivational coach being upset that I didn’t dress for success — but, I work from home, so sweatpants and a t-shirt are the dress code for success around here.

AGENT: Nice to talk to you too.

CLIENT: Yeah, I am so glad you can help me.

AGENT: Yes, but one thing. It’s your desk. Have you dusted it recently?

CLIENT: Why, do you have allergies?

AGENT: Not yet, but I’m sneezing just being on the phone with… hold on… (a-choo) with you.

CLIENT: Wow, I didn’t realize it was so bad. I’ll use some bleach and clean it up so it is sterile enough to do surgery on.

AGENT: Sounds wonderful .I’ll bring a scalpel.

CLIENT: I like this virtual being together. It’s like a virtual marriage!

AGENT: You think? Well it will really be like marriage when you find out how much I spent on your virtual assistant plan without asking you. $2000 per month. But, you’ll love the VA I got you. Her name is Cindy and she is one of our best girls.

CLIENT: You spent how much? $2000? This girl better be good. It’s a good thing you took out the trash last week, otherwise you’d really be in the dog house.

AGENT: We don’t have dog houses in my country. That would make it like taking candy from a baby for the neighbors to have their dinner.

CLIENT: Yes, dog soup is a famous delicacy in the Philippines I heard. But, I didn’t believe that. I thought it was all a big joke.

AGENT: Anyway, love your hairstyle and the hair spray smells really good. We’ll talk to you later. Have a night afternoon.

CLIENT: It’s evening here in America, but, — whatever! Have a nice afternoon. And don’t forget to take my pants to the cleaners!

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