Don’t make your attitude about handling complaints lead them to launch into more complaints down the line.
The art of acknowledging a customer’s complaint is is half the battle. The art of doing something without painting yourselves at totally at fault.
I don’t even deserve to live…
So shoot me.
CLIENT: I can’t believe my bill had a $20 extra charge for cat sitting and the mouse channel? And I don’t even own a cat. I don’t even own a self-cleaning oven. Although, if I did have a cat who wanted a self-cleaning oven, the oven would probably lick itself clean.
SUJATA: Oh, I’m so so so sorry! How could we begin to even dream that you would even have a cat? We should be sentenced to sit in our own litterbox forall of eternity — the bad kind, without the chlorophyll!
CLIENT: Well, hold on there. I mean, it’s not like I hate cats, and it’s not like you made a life altering error, except for the cat’s life which never existed to begin with.
SUJATA: Now I am guilty of killing off your imaginary cat. The imagination is the most wonderful thing in the universe. I will personally take 100% of the blame for this grievous error on your bill… and also my boss, and my co-worker Rahul, oh, and also the Samosa guy. You see, your bill was created on the 11th, and that was the day that Sanjit the samosa guy was two hours late. After all, we can’t think clearly on an empty stomach, so he should share the blame.
CLIENT: I can’t believe you are blaming 25% of your errors on the samosa guy, that is so catty of you! I’m reporting you to your boss!
========================
Curb your attitude!
========================
SANGEETA: Hello this is Sangeeta.
CLIENT: Hi, my name is Carol, and I can’t believe that I was billed an additional $20 for cat sitting and the mouse channel when I have never owned a cat and never signed up for that service. How can your company do that to me? And also, I’ve been a loyal customer of this company for eight years and have never had anything like this happen before. Can you imagine how I feel.
SANGEETA: Actually maam, I am the wrong person to talk to as I am not in complaints, I am in billing.
CLIENT: But, this IS a billing compl…
(on hold music for three minutes…. announcer’s voice: Now you can get the mouse channel for a free trial with NO obligation for two months. Just talk to the next representative who you speak to and get $5 off your next bill just for mentioning it. Also, you’ll just love our new cat sitting service. Your cat deserves…)
RAHUL: Hello, this is Rajul, may I help you?
CLIENT: Oh my God, I just explained my entire situation to the last girl who answered the phone in billing. She didn’t want to talk to me because my issue is a complaint, but it is also a billing compalint.
RAHUL: Oh, you’re right let me transfer you.
CLIENT: Hold on….
(on hold music for another three minutes… announcer’s voice. Your cat deserves the finest in cat sitting services. Our skilled caretakers will give your little furry friend nine life-time memberships in our program. Try our new chicken kabobs — tastes like mouse! And your cat will just love our….
SANGEETA: Hello, this is Sangeeta.
CLIENT: Hi Sangeeta, I have a billing issue to talk about. Please note, that it is NOT a billing complaint, but a billing issue.
SANGEETA: Oh sorry, I don’t deal with billing issues, I only deal with billing, please hold.
CLIENT: DON’T PUT ME ON HOLD, or I’ll come to India and break your neck. I’ll find out where you live, and the address of your office. And then I’ll give you the address of where you’re going to die.
SANGEETA: So, what do you want?
CLIENT: I was billed $20 for cat sitting when I don’t have a cat.
SANGEETA: Oh, I can fix that. Carol Smith? Of 29 Partridge Lane in Boise, Idaho?
CLIENT: That’s where I am, assuming you don’t put me on hold again in which case I’ll have a Mumbai address on MG Road.
SANGEETA: Okay, no need to get upset ma’am. I have removed the charge. The refund will reflect in your next statement. Is there anything else you can help me with?
CLIENT: Yes, there is one more thing. There is one important thing I need to tell you that will turn your career around, and give you a chance to immigrate to America and work at a call center here that pays twenty times the salary that your current job pays.
SANGEETA: Oh really, and what’s that?
CLIENT: Okay, but please hold…
(Announcer says, “Now, you can enjoy the best in call center agent relaxation products. Enjoy the sound of seagulls and oceanwaves in the privacy of your own home in Mumbai, assuming your electricity doesn’t get cut every two hours like the rest of India. Or, use a battery operated tape recorder. Or, enjoy the relaxing sound of Himalayan singing bowls to get into a spiritual frame of mind. Yes, these products can all be yours for a mere….
CLIENT: Sorry, I just wanted to put you on hold to see how you liked it.