Brian was a nice guy. He was a teacher and worked hard organizing his cycling events. He reached out to thousands on Facebook and even had a newsletter that he was constantly adding to. But, it got to be too much for him talking to all of his followers and coordinating events. He needed help. So, he outsourced his content creation to a nearby company. They had access to amazing photos that they could add to his Facebook posts, and had lots of experience. Brian knew he had it made.
His last event had two hundred people coming of all ages and genders to ride through the hills of Los Angeles. Little did he know that with his new found help, he would have even more members. Below is a copy of the message put out on Facebook.
Attention Bikers!
Come to our tour of the Los Angeles Hills. We will be touring scenic areas and then meeting for lunch in Malibu at the Thai Bistro. Bring your friends and family!
So, it was the morning of the 4th. His usual crowd of two hundred bicyclists showed up. But, then there was a very loud sound in the distance. Broom —- Broom — Broom. What was that sound? It sounded like motorcycles in the distance. They were getting closer. They were coming to join the event. Brian was befuddled as to why these motorcycle gangs (with their tattoos and leather jackets) had come to their bicycle event.
ROCCO: Hey, we’re here for the tour of the hills. (he waves his gang of 20 behind him)
COORDINATOR: Oh, we were not expecting motorcyclists to be joining us.
ROCCO: Well, I have my i-phone right here, and on the invitations it says, “Attention Bikers!” We’re bikers.
COORDINATOR: Hmm, we outsourced that to one of those social media companies. They didn’t know that the word cyclist is a person who rides a bicycle while a biker is one who rides a motorcycle. One of those subtle differences in the English language! They hire a lot of Asians who are not completely fluent in English at that company. They’re a nice crowd, but they don’t always understand the nuances of the English language. But, that’s never been a problem so far!
ROCCO: We like subtle nuances, don’t we guys?
GUYS: What?
ROCCO: (yelling) We like subtle nuances, don’t we guys?
GUYS: Yeah! I feel like a nuance right now! I could pick up four of those nuances right now (looking at the lean bikers.)
COORDINATOR: Oh no, they are not nuances, a nuance is a small change in meaning from using a slightly different word.
ROCCO: Oh, well I like that too. Kind of like the difference between a citizen and an associate.
GUYS: Oh, ho ho ho — those cagers.
COORDINATOR? What?
ROCCO: You see, you lack the linguistic sensitivity to understand our unique biker language.
COORDINATOR? Aparantly so.
ROCCO: This is just a hunch, but I’m picking up vibes that you are not biker friendly.
COORDINATOR: Well, we cater to those who ride motorless bikes — let’s just phrase it that way since we are both into semantics.
ROCCO: Well you can enjoy your semantics and your social media company of morons. We’re going on without you.
COORDINATOR: What a shame!
CYCLIST CROWD: What a relief!