Tag Archives: CEO

Why you Should Hire a Comedian Instead of a CEO to Co-Blog.

Categories: Humor, Popular on Twitter, Semi-Popular, Social Media | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Carbonating my Business Blog with Some Fizz
I am a business person, and if you read my blog regularly, it is likely that you are too! I struggled for a long time to find people who could help me blog. Sometimes people would think of generic sounding topics while others came up with bizarre and interesting stories. However, to have a constant supply of zany and interesting ideas, I needed more. Since I am a business person and very active on social media, I am bombarded with blog titles of every description and have no trouble thinking of more. I can easily write about business themes. So, if I hired someone with a business mind just like me, what would be the point — we already have a business mind here. What readers like, is some pizazz, and some clever jokes thrown in — and some professional proofreading never hurts ether — make that “either”.

Business + Humor = Success
Laugh and the world blogs with you. As a writer for three blogs, I like to throw some humor in on a regular basis. However, as a shrewd businessman, I’m shrewd enough to know I have no business writing comedy! The point is to align two different types of minds with different but complementary skills. In my case, I have a business-oriented mind with some industry-specific knowledge. My comedy writer is not only a comedian, but is a seasoned writer capable of professional proofreading — and that’s no joke. (The last time I put an ad in the paper for a seasoned writer, I got a Cajun guy from Baton Rouge with absolutely no experience applying for the job!)

Collaborative Brainstorming With Finesse
My writer and I join forces and in an hour can brainstorm more than a dozen interesting and funny blog titles. Then, we sometimes work together to develop themes. The actual writing of the blog might be done by him, or by myself and then “touched up” by him. He’ll clean up some small mistakes, find some areas that need finessing, and he’ll also ramp up the humor wherever possible. The other people I interviewed either couldn’t think of even one blog title, or came up with titles that sounded as cookie cutter and generic as the description cookie cutter and generic. My comedy writer comes up with stuff that is off the wall, but that is always a hit with both of the industries that I cater to.

Two Similar Minds — a Two Headed Monster?
If two like-minded business people wrote blogs together, there would be no jokes. They would debate whether or not to have pie charts, or graphs. Whether to cater to the lay-person, or higher level professionals. You might learn something before falling into a deep slumber reading their informative articles. If my comedy writer worked over their blog, he would chuck the charts and throw the pie graphs in their faces and start all over again to find a more laughable way to present the facts! Graphs and charts enhance the digestibility of information, but without a spoonful of sugar, the medicine won’t go down.

Incompatible Minds
On the other hand, if you partner up with someone whose thoughts are completely out of sync with yours, you won’t get anywhere collaborating. Finding your perfect match is not easy in the writing world. Rather than a comedian, it could be a stunt driver or a bartender — and I’ll drink to that, preferably not while stunt driving! But, whatever you do, don’t hire a CEO to help you with your business blog!

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Do you see yourself as an Entrepreneur, or CEO?

Categories: Management | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

I was talking to my friend the other day. Some of the most meaningful conversations I have ever had happen when I just drop by to someone’s office, or just feel the urge to talk with someone who I haven’t talked to for a long time. Well, my friend told me that I was a CEO of a technology company — like Steve Jobs or Bill Gates. I don’t feel that way about myself. I feel that I am nowhere as smart as either of those two guys. Additionally, I only have a programmer and a few assistants. I don’t manager dozens, hundreds or thousands of workers. When you are in that league it is a different ballgame.

So, basically, I see myself as an entrepreneur who has moved up the ladder to the point where he has a few people working for him. I am not in a huge hurry to grow because I like stable growth based on stable clients, stable markets, and stable skills. But, maybe I am a CEO in a small scale type of a way. Or perhaps I should think of myself as one. The main real difference between me and a CEO is that they can snap their fingers and have labor resources on a particular task. I can’t do that. I have to find people myself, test them out, etc. I can’t do my tasks if I am busy hiring others. So, I am at a difficult stage in business where growth actually does hurt.

But, maybe I should gradually shift my consciousness to CEO consciousness, or start thinking more like one today. If I am going to grow, I need to start thinking like someone who is already bigger than I am. It is common sense and the law of the cyberverse. So, how can I be more like a real CEO? Well, for starts, I can put down my subscription to Entrepreneur, and start reading CEO. Next, I can find intelligent ways to delegate a higher portion of my tasks, even if it is little by little And last, I can have a weekly meeting with myself to take notes on business decisions and the conditions of the week. Top level people have reports, and keep track of their business more in writing, while I keep it mostly in my head. I guess it’s all in my head!

Maybe this is the type of question to ask my cat.

ME: Mrs. Meao, do you see me as being more of an entrepreneur or a CEO?
CAT: (sniff sniff sniff) Meao!!! (with puzzled expression on her furry face)

Putting reason aside, the topic of today’s blog entry is mind expanding. Your entire existance can be changed by contemplating this topic. Anyway, I gotta go meditate. The universe is calling me!

Why a great CEO is worth 6000 times more than the average worker

Categories: Of Interest | Tagged , | Leave a comment

I was discussing this issue with a friend the other day. She thought it was not fair that a particular CEO was getting paid roughly 6000 times what the average worker was at his company. She thought the CEO was paid unfairly too much. I also found it not fair. I thought that perhaps the CEO might deserve much more than 6000 times what the average worker got. But, why?

Workers are commodities
Unless you have some special personality or skill, you do the same work that millions of others can do. Your wage is subject to a market rate based on what you do, how long you have been doing it, how reliable and good their work is, and a few other factors. People with specialized jobs like teachers, salespeople, CEO’s, etc., are not commodities. The subtle differences in their work can make a huge difference in profitablity.

The mechanic who was fast
If a mechanic comes into work in the morning, he can do “x” amount of work. If he is fast, he can do a little more, and if he is incompetent, he can get the garage in a little bit of trouble. But, the scale of trouble he can create is no larger than the particular car he is working on (assuming there is no multi-care collission caused by his carelessness installing brakes). A well seasoned (greased) mechanic compared to a functional beginner might be worth 3x the salary.

A tale of two teachers
But, let’s imagine differences in quality of a teacher for example. Joe the teacher comes in, bores his students all day, nobody learns much, and they all go home feeling depressed. Frank the teacher on the other hand is not only charismatic, but studied advanced techniques in learning styles and applies 30 different learning techniques that no other teacher in his town have even heard of. Frank got his students not only to stay awake in class, but think outside the box, do two hours of homework nightly, and amount to something in life. Frank’s contribution completely changed the destiny of 30 students, not to mention thousands of people who those students would interact with over the course of their lives. Therefor, Joe deserves $40,000 per year, but Frank gets $45,000 because he is putting in the extra mile. In real life, the school systems prefer Joe, because he doesn’t rock the boat, and Frank would probably get fired. But, in my mind, Joe should get $20,000 per year and Frank should get $150,000. The output of their work is drastically different and their effect on society is not even something that we can measure.

The miracle CEO
A good teacher can make a much larger benefit to society than a bad teacher. The difference in effect could be ten fold according to my style of thinking. But, choosing a CEO for a large company is much more critical than which mechanic or teacher you choose. CEOs are not workers. They don’t actually “do” anything. CEOs make decisions. They allocate funds. They hire and fire critical people in the company. They make long range decisions. They buy and sell huge assets.

A good CEO might think through a purchasing decision very carefully, analyzing all of the details and using very meticulous skills to make his decision. Imagine if a mediocre CEO made the same decision, they might buy a factory in the wrong location, or at the wrong price, the wrong size, or overlook some other critical aspect of the transaction. It might be only 70% as efficient as the one the smart CEO purchased. A single bad decision like that could cost a company 10 million per year for twenty years. That is 200 million in lost assets because of a bad CEO. A real CEO might make ten big decisions per year as well as many smaller decisions. If a CEO hires a dynamo Vice President who helps the company gain 20% market share, that could be worth 20 million the first year. A bad CEO might hire the wrong Vice President and lose an equal amount, or simply maintain the status quo instead of actualizing growth potential. The scope of how important a good decision is, is staggering.

Doing the math
Let’s say that the average worker at ZYX Company makes $20,000 per year, and the CEO makes 20 million per year. That is 1000 times as much as the average worker makes. Is it fair? If you put even the smartest of those workers in the CEOs position, how much money would they lose the first month through bad decision making? They could lose 20 million per month. Is it worth paying 20 million a year so that you don’t lose 200 million per year? Saving a little money by purchasing the services of a less than perfect CEO can cost you much more than their salary in losses or lost opportunities. Look at the bigger picture!

(1) Shelly says its not fair that the CEO gets 6000x the average worker. I feel he deserves more!
(2) A good CEO can save a company millions, train workers, and drive a company to success!
(3) A CEO’s salary is not based on how much he works, but the quality of his decisions.

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Developing the CEO within — a spiritual guide!

Categories: Humor, Semi-Popular | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Developing the CEO within!

It all sounds so spiritual. Look within young one! But, what if you don’t have a CEO within? If you run a small business, you are a CEO. You have to make executive decisions, but you might not make them like a professional. Sometimes it is good to ask, “If I were a real CEO, what would I do now?” You might ignore the problem entirely because it was small instead of getting all worked up about it. Or you might find a long range plan of solving the problem in a way that enhances your business model. Just finding quick fix solutions to problems is not very CEO-ish if you ask me!

How to develop your CEO consciousness
First, meditate on the Buddha for four hours a day, fast for a month, and then ask me. Just kidding! If you give yourself simulated business problems, or interact with other people who have business problems, you begin to train your mind how to think three dimensionally about business issues. The more you think and hear how other people handle problems, the smarter you will be.

Reading books and magazines?
In my opinion, books and magazines are often very general about how they handle business issues. Media is concerned with huge acquisitions, and text books are concerned with theoretical issues that professors like to think about. A PhD in Microeconomics might not help you as much as hanging around on the street and seeing real business being done. I’m not discouraging you from reading books and magazines, but they rarely touch upon real life issues which are pertinent to you. It is better to experience problems first hand and talk to others who are a few steps up the evolutionary ladder than you are to learn how they would handle it.

Who would you learn better from?
If you could give me a choice of two business mentors, who would I choose? One has a double PhD from Yale, the other is a Mafia Boss. That’s a no-brainer (or a no-knee-capper). Mafia bosses not only understand a lot about business, but they understand human nature too. They know how to make people loyal to them, and need them. They have close knit extended families which gives them a wide net of connections. They know how to make relationships and develop them over Italian coffee and Tuscany white wine. They know how to assert their dominance better than most professors (but, I really shouldn’t generalize). They also know how to break relationships (and legs). They know how to pay people enough so they are not hated, but not so much, that those people no longer need them. They know a lot about competitive analysis (and making the competition leave town) as well. Proper grammar might not be their forte, but “You’s guys don’t need no grammar anyways”

Blogs can sometimes be the best business education
I love to read Harvard Business Review and Marketingprofs blogs. Sure, the content matter is not always applicable to my business, but I can learn some quick management and marketing facts that can change my business in five minutes or less. Reading a blog cannot get you into business, but it might be able to teach you a few tips how to do better if you are already afloat.

If you had a lemonade stand or lawn mowing business as a kid, your journey to CEO-hood has been sprouting for years now. There is hope for you. For your kids, ask them business questions and make them think. They might evolve into the next super-mogul all because of your help.

Anyway, “You’s guys have a nice night — capiche?”

(capiche is Sicilian for — “understand?”)

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