The Indian companies who answer professionally are even worse?

January 23, 2014 by 123outsource
Categories: Outsourcing Articles, Semi-Popular | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

In my September 2013 cleanup of 123outsource.net, I removed about 800 companies from our outsourcing directory. The companies that were removed were taken off because they either didn’t answer their phone, or refused to communicate in an audible or helpful way. If you are in business, you need to invest in a clear phone line otherwise you will be saying, “What, what, what?”, and your prospective clients will be saying, “I’m hiring someone else!”

In my frustration, I found that less than 1% of small outsourcing companies in India answered the phone professionally. They did not state their company name or personal name when answering the phone. They only said, “Hello?” I understand that there are very few good role models for business behavior in India, but you can learn from England, the US, or Singapore if you need role models.

I decided to call larger companies in India so that I could see how professional outsourcing companies handled their clients. These larger outsourcing companies in India answered the phone stating their company name, either in person, or with a recording. The problem is that is the only thing they did right. Yes, I am generalizing. I communicated with about twenty larger companies, and not one of them could answer even simple questions.

Company: Rajeev Outsourcing Company, may I help you:?
Me: Hi this is Jeremy from 123outsource.net, I wanted to know if you are still in Thane
Company: Let me transfer you
Me; I think that you are intelligent enough to know what city you are located in.
company: Please hold

Then I was put on hold and the phone disconnected in many cases.
In other cases I was connected to someone else who once again transferred me to a third, fourth or fifth person. I had to spend about five minutes being transferred just to reach a single person who could interact like a human being.

My suggestion to larger outsourcing companies in India is to hire people who have half a brain. That would be a huge improvement over what you have now. Teach them how to answer questions like: What is your name? What city are you in? What does your company specialize in? The smaller companies generally had highly intelligent owners or partners who could speak the queens English, answer all questions intelligently and make small talk. The large companies couldn’t even function.

Indians have a narrow-minded view of business that bigger is better. This is not true. Better is better, bigger is generally indicative of a thick skull.

Tweets:
(1) The few Indian companies that answer the phone stating their company names are actually the worst!
(2) Larger companies in India need to systematically put u on hold to answer complicated questions such as: what city r u in?
(3) Over 99% of small outsourcing companies in India answer phone, “hello”. Making them sound like a wrong number!
(4) There r better ways of spending time than being transferred 2someone who transfers u 2someone who transfers u again.
(5) Small co’s had more intelligent spokespeople. Big ones barely functioned. Like cars, “smaller” got better mileage.

You might also like:

Nursery rhyme music is not appropriate when you are on hold!
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Are you tired of outsourcing to India?
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The second test project & the second bid

January 22, 2014 by 123outsource
Categories: Semi-Popular, Software Development | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

It is like pulling teeth to find good software companies to hire. I started off by hiring software companies / software outsourcing companies who talked well on the phone. Then, after I saw their work I realized that talk is cheap. Of course the ones who didn’t talk well, couldn’t function when we needed to communicate. Damned if you do and damned if you don’t.

So, to get a sense of perspective about how efficient companies were, I gave many a test estimate job. Some bid too high, while others bid too low. What I realized is that the ones who bid too low were not realistic or reliable. The ones who bid too high were crooked. Those who bid right on target were too good to have time for me. So, I tried to find companies who bid a little higher than what I wanted — but, not too much higher. I overlooked a few things.

I found one software outsourcing company who bid perfectly on a test project. I wanted a bid of 40 hours, and they bid exactly 40. Then I had another project which took other programmers about 2 hours. This same company wanted 16 hours for 2 hours of work. OMG! They bid very realistically on the first job, and insanely on the second. So, I am realizing that my screening process needs to be longer and include more than one bid.

Another company was given a job that I thought an American software company should take 4 hours to complete, but that an Indian company might take 6 hours. They came in at 5.25 hours. I was very happy, and their work was flawless. Then they bid on a 60 hour project and wanted 800 hours. What happened?

I feel that before settling on a particular software outsourcing company, shop around and really put people through two test projects and several quick bids to see if they are in the ball-park each step of the game. If they are sometimes out of the ball park, you could lose your shirt very quickly.

Never judge a company by their first bid!

Tweets:
(1) If ur testing companies out, give them a 1st test project, and then a 2nd before hiring them.
(2) If a company bid sensibly on test project #1, they might bid insanely the 2nd time around
(3) Never judge a company by their first bid!
(4) Don’t judge a book by its cover or a company by its 1st bid.
A 2nd bid proves you’re consistently in the ballpark!
(5) Baseball is back! As you visit the ballpark, make sure the IT guys bidding are in the ballpark! Or they’re…OUT!
(6) Bidding too low: unrealistic.
Too high: crooked.
On target: too busy for me.
A little higher than ideal? 🙂
(7) Don’t judge book by its cover or company by its 1st bid. Get two bids to make sure both are in your ballpark!

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From 100 Indian call centers down to 1

January 21, 2014 by 123outsource
Categories: Call Center, Popular on Twitter, Semi-Popular | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

From 100 call centers down to 1

I just did a big clean up of my outsourcing directory. I found that there were many companies who were just not worth listing. If a company is paying to be listed on my site, then I am forced to keep them whether I like them or not. But, most companies on our site have free listings which gives me the freedom to remove them.

I called more than one thousand companies in various categories such as software, call center, data entry, etc. I found that in India, there are some very intelligent sounding people working in Web Design, .Net development and PHP programming services. But, the call center folks were not worth calling 99% of the time. Out of 100 call centers in India, I found only 1 who I felt was worth listing. I kept another few dozen to keep the site populated. What do you do when you call a call center and they answer with a practically inaudible, “Hullo?”.

Me: Hi, this is Jeremy from 123outsource.net, what is your company name?
Company: Who are you?
Me: I just told you, this is Jeremy from 123outsource.net, what is your company name?
Company: Who is this?
Me: I told you who I was twice, now you tell me who you are.
Company: What do you want?
Me: I just told you, I want to know your company name, so I can know if I am calling the right people.
Company: Why should I tell you, what is in it for me?
Me: I will remove you from our directory if you don’t tell me your company name. If I was a prospective client, I wouldn’t hire your company even if you worked for free.
Company: who are you?
Me: Never mind, I am removing you from our outsourcing directory. You have no phone skills whatsoever, it is scary to think that you dare call yourself a call center or any type of business for that matter.

They behave as if I am invading them in their bedroom just to know what their company name is. Why is it such a secret? If you want people to think you are professional, announce your company name and personal name when answering the phone. Answer all questions in a helpful way, and don’t be a pain in the neck like the 65 Indian call centers that we removed in September!

Tweets:
(1) From 100 Indian call centers down to 1 after the weeding out process.
(2) 123OUTSOURCE.NET weeds out the deadbeats who don’t know how to answer the phone. We over-and-out-sourced them!

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How to get clients for your call center – get an agent!
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How to get clients for your call center: Pay-per-click!
http://bpo.123outsource.net/2013/08/01/how-to-gain-clients-for-your-call-center-pay-per-click/

Google+ is delivering already!

January 20, 2014 by 123outsource
Categories: SEO, Social Media | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

We talked to many people in the web business. Word on the street was that Google+ is good. What I have learned is that there is no such thing as a good or bad social media venue. What counts is if it is working for your particular campaign. I run several websites and Facebook works miracles for one, and was a dud for another. Hmmm.

On my Google analytics it shows up as plus.url.google.com / referral. I was excited because we finally started getting detectable clicks from our network of less than a dozen people. We just started Google+ only a month or so ago and put very little effort into it so far.

One of the clicks was from the city of Gwangmyeong-si. I’ll put it on my bucket list to go there one day. I have no idea where that is. Sounds like Nepal, Laos, or China. I bet they have good dumplings there regardless. Ooops… Just looked it up. It is in Korea — wrong again! Korean dumplings just don’t measure up to Chinese. It is the one thing that Koreans aren’t good at! We got another one of our clicks from Khulna which is in Bangladesh. Not only do I get optimization from Google+, but I also get a geography lesson!

The reality of the situation is that it takes a long time to grow a social media network. Some grow like weeds with very little maintenance. Others take endless maintenance only to grow at the speed of a snail. It will take a few years to grow our Google+ really large, but it is nice to know that it just began to sprout in fertile Asian soils! Experts say that Google+ is great for your optimization, and it makes sense. A click from within one of Google’s networks will get preferential treatment, and for good reason.

So, what do I think about having Google+? It’s a definite plus!

(1) So, what do I think about having Google+? It’s a definite plus!
(2) It takes a long time to grow a social media network. With Google+, it is growing with you!

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Active vs. dormant followers on Twitter!
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Does your team function as a team?

January 18, 2014 by 123outsource
Categories: Management | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Does your team function as a team?

There are many types of company structures, and many ways to play politics in any of these structures. There is always jealousy, resentment, competition, greed, and arguments. The question is, how do you get your team to function as a team?

Sometimes I feel that the people who work for me function as separate individuals and have very little positive interaction with each other. Often times they just don’t like each other. When you combine bad chemistry with territorial types, you end up with a lot of trouble. Should you hire people because you feel they will do a good job or do you hire people who will blend in with your other workers?

Bad interactions between even two workers can ruin your company culture and fill the air with a bad vibe. On the other hand, if people work more remotely, it might not matter as much if people don’t get along. Assessing the damage of bad internal relationships is not easy. What really matters is how the customers feel. If they interact well with your staff, that is yet another set of relationships to consider. In a perfect world, we would all get along with each other, but on planet earth, we need to optimize our relationship structures!

For me, honestly, there are too many variables. Just to find someone who can function at all is a huge challenge. If you pair that with company culture and internal relationship issues, it is more than I can even think about.

If your team doesn’t function as a team, sometimes talking it over just doesn’t help. Certain people just don’t like each other and there is no remedy. Sometimes talking it over just submerges people’s hostility until it blows up in your face at a later date.

Tweets:
(1) Should you hire people because you feel they will do a good job or do you hire people who will blend in with your other workers?
(2) There are many types of company structures, and many ways to play politics in any of these structures.

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Are bonuses really the best incentive?

January 17, 2014 by 123outsource
Categories: Motivation | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Are bonuses really the best incentive?

The subject of motivation is a troubling one for me. I have a lot of it, but can’t seem to find ways to motivate others. Others do what they feel like. They are often not motivated by money no matter how desperately they need cash. They are not motivated even by success. Bonuses and commissions motivate people to a point, but they are also complicated. If your industry is slow for a month, your salesperson might lose their bonus when it is not their fault. Sales quotas are not a really good measuring stick of someone’s achievement. The other problem with bonuses is that they can create an unhealthy attitude towards competition which might not be good for the collaborative future of your company’s work culture. Sometimes it makes more sense to give real feedback to the employees. Tell them what customers felt. Talk to them about how meaningful their work is for the company. Share your vision for the future of the company. If they don’t share the vision, it is not always so easy to get them to share your dream.

I just was reading an article about motivating workers by making them aware of the larger impact of their work. But, how do you use this strategy to get them to subscribe to your larger vision for your company? Most workers just don’t care that much about long term visions. It is about them making money, and/or being a hero in the work-world. These are selfish goals and have nothing to do with the company’s long term contribution to society.

I have learned that selling your vision to visionless people is not so easy. But, you can use psychological buttons to do this. You can put them in the position of the consumer or society. Ask them how they would feel if they did business with a company who not only gave good service, but did a lot of extra meaningful things as well verses one who merely got the job done. If they can feel the meaningfulness of the vision, they are more likely to subscribe. Remember, there is reason, and there is emotion. Emotion sells a whole lot better than reason with 99% of the people!

Tweets:
(1) re workers motivated by bonuses or by being told of their positive impact on society?
(2) I have learned that selling your vision to visionless people is not so easy.

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Motivating workers with competition
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Your site is only as good as the weakest link?

January 16, 2014 by 123outsource
Categories: Analytics | Tagged | 1 Comment

What does this really mean? What is your weakest link?

Does your site have great graphics, but broken links? Google will penalize you severely for this. Or perhaps your links all work well, but there are other problems. Maybe you have great content, but horrible graphics. Maybe your links are to irrelevant content or poorly organized. Or perhaps everything is perfect, but your server is so damn slow. In web business, to do well, your site has to be good in all respects. If there are 20 factors to consider and you are weak in even one, then you can lose a lot of traffic. Below are some considerations to what makes your site good.

Good content
This means that you have a lot of text on various pages about industry specific information. Not only do you display your projects, but you compare them honestly to other similar products and you give a lot of free related information. If your site is about lawn mowers, compare its features to your competitors lawn mowers. Have pages all about types of grass and the attributes of those species of grass. Have information about outdoor recreation. Write articles about what other people did with their lawns and show some nice pictures of the people and their lawns (and their pets of course too.) They key to good content is to grab your audience and make them want to stay on your site for a long time and come back go your site in the future. Those regular visitors are more likely to make a purchase from you than a short term visitor who thinks your site is useless due to limited or disorganized content

Good organization
If your site has one thousand pages, you need to keep them organized. A good navigation bar can organize your site in a very basic way. It might link to your home page, contact us, about us, articles, site map, and a few other pages. It can’t go beyond that. So, how do you organize your content after that? There can be links on the home page to the most popular content. Your site map or articles page can organize your additional content into sections.

Links
Google cares about links, and quality links. You need incoming links, but you also need outgoing links. You can barter for relevant links or just give them. Google respects you all the more if people click on the links you have on your pages, especially if the keywords on your page match the main keywords on the page you are linking to!

Graphics
If your site has good graphics and pics, people will gravitate towards your site. Some sites spend big bucks on fancy pictures. I wouldn’t do this until you are making the big bucks. But, quality photos and graphics go a long way, even if they are not the most expensive in town.

Speed
If your site is slow, then people will get frustrated waiting for pages to load. They might just forget about you.

SEO
Don’t hire the wrong company or you will get a bunch of links that Google will penalize you for. Then, you will be sorry. But, if you have a keyword structure for all of your main pages, having each main page focus on one or more keywords, then you are in good shape. For your secondary pages, they can focus on a single keyword per page, and repeat that keyword several times per page. That keyword could be in the URL, metatitle, and text, not to mention incoming and outgoing links from that page.

Internal link structure
Sure you need links from other sites. Those might come on their own if you offer quality content. But, if you have the right number of outbound links from each of your pages to other related pages on your site, you might find that Google is very nice to you! Finding the right number of links and the right types of links requires a lot of experimentation and use of Google Analytics, so learn these tools and good luck!

Fresh content
Good content is not enough, you need fresh content. The Google gods are not satisfied with your old content. You need to keep creating new content. Content writers are really in business as a result of this. A blog is a good way to have new content, but you can edit existing pages on your site and add new pages as well.

Layout
Part of a well organized site is layout. But, some layouts are more attractive than others. You need to space your information in an easy to digest way. There should be the right amount of space, the right amount of pictures in the right places, and the right amount of links. Finding a good layout is not easy, so spend some time on this.

There is a lot more to having a great site. But, if your site is lacking on any of these main points, you might lose a ton of traffic!

Tweets:
(1) Does your site look good, but have other things wrong with it? That can hurt you more than you think!

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Good Sign Bad Sign: What to look for in newly hired workers

January 13, 2014 by 123outsource
Categories: Hiring & Firing, Popular on Twitter, Popular Posts | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Sometimes it is hard to know who to hire, especially when you are in a bind and need someone right away. There are many signs to look for and many phases in the relationship. Sometimes people start off with a bang and end with a low thud or fizzling sound. Always assume that a good relationship can go South. However, I have never seen a bad relationship turn good. On a brighter note, people with good attitudes who are working on their skills might improve their skills over the period of a year or two.

Good Signs
The service provider:
(1) Is always friendly and happy to talk
(2) Conversations last for more than two hours!
(3) You feel that if you were stuck with the person in an eight hour car ride that it would be a pleasant experience
(4) The person gives thoughtful answers to all of your questions and suggests their own points of view too
(5) Finishes work on time or early
(6) Is not only willing, but happy to meet with you on a Sunday or email you on a Holiday about a work related issue
(7) Enjoys taking you out to eat or being taken out to eat
(8) Gives consistently reasonable bids
(9) Is willing to do small things at no cost

Bad Signs
(1) The person is not so willing to answer questions, and answers seem incomplete or evasive
(2) Conversations are short and the person doesn’t seem to enthusiastic about talking. It is more of a burden
(3) Work is finished late, or is sloppy.
(4) Refuses to lift a finger on the weekend no matter what.
(5) Politely declines when you offer to take them out to eat at your expense.
(6) Complains about the work
(7) Answers their phone less than 35% of the time and doesn’t normally return calls or emails.

Categories of signs
(1) Willingness to interact:
Length
Phone answer rate
Answering messages rate
Answering emails rate & speed
Willing to socialize with you off the job

(2) Quality of interaction:
Quality answers to questions
Suggestions — the person makes great suggestions on their own initiative
Complaining — the person complains regularly about small things
Tone: (happy, distant, absent minded, hostile, etc.)

(3) Punctuality — getting things done on time indicates a “Willingness to work”
(4) Quality of Work
(5) Efficiency of work — keeping bids reasonable and being helpful.
(6) Integrity — not cheating or lying.

Based on my experience, if you hire someone to work for you, nobody is ever perfect. So, don’t hold anyone to perfection unless you are Steve Jobs (who could get away with it.) Unfortunately, if a workers is seriously lacking in any of the six categories of signs listed above, you really can’t use them. But, if they are not too bad in any department and get the job done, you are in business.

One of the most critical signs that I read about in other people’s blogs is a gut feeling. How long would you consent to be stuck in a car with the other person. If the answer is twenty minutes, maybe you should not work with them. But, if the answer is all day, then you found a winner!

Pay attention to signs. A single sign doesn’t prove your destiny, but if there are too many question marks or bad signs, your work relationship will most likely not work. It makes sense to end a bad work relationship as soon as possible, or you will be complaining every day about the person!

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The safest city in the USA & the most dangerous city in Mexico

January 12, 2014 by 123outsource
Categories: America, Semi-Popular | Tagged | Leave a comment

It is an irony that the safest city in the USA and the most dangerous city in Mexico are right across a river from each other. El Paso is the most crime-free city in the USA. If you disregard the fact that many of the locals are the worst drivers in the country, it is a very safe place. On the other hand Ciudad Juarez is right across the river from downtown El Paso and is the most dangerous city in Mexico. Prostitutes are routinely murdered, and the cartels do plenty of shootings there as well.

It is interesting to note that many companies outsource to Mexico. Mexico does not have the cheapest manufacturing costs, but they do have the fastest turnaround for truck shipments to destinations in the USA. The average trucking time from central Mexico to the focal point of the continental United States is 17 hours. If you want to get goods from China, Malaysia, or Costa Rica to the United States, they have to be put on a truck, then a boat, then unloaded, then customs, then a train, then a truck, and it could take months to deliver your goods.

Mexico is a great outsourcing destination for manufacturing and not bad for call centers either. If only they could control their horrible drug war. Mexico could become a much more popular spot for future manufacturing operations, resorts and more. It is sad that the government is not in control of their own country. Personally, I feel that Mexico was governed more efficiently by the Aztecs — although their culture was based on routine slaughter of neighboring tribes who they sought to conquest! I guess some things never change.

Tweets:
(1) El Paso, the safest city the US is right across the river from Ciudad Juarez, the most dangerous city in Mexico!
(2) If you disregard the fact that half the residents have road rage, El Paso is the safest city in the USA!
(3) The Aztec culture was based on routine slaughters. Sounds like the cartel culture!
(4) Safest USA city is across from most dangerous Mexico city. Yin-ville and Yang-ville.
(5) Mexico is good for call centers. If only they’d call an end to the drug war.

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Google’s Algorithm for Blogs is Harder Now

January 10, 2014 by 123outsource
Categories: SEO, Social Media | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

I wrote another article about how Google changed its algorithm regarding how blogs place in search results. Please keep in mind that this change happened in September 2013 and it was very pronounced. I do not do SEO for a living. I just noticed because I track my statistics for my notary blog and outsource blog regularly and train myself to notice things. The first relationship is between how good your blogs are and how you place on Google. The trick here is that a good article is not enough. You need to have incoming links and a way to get seen as well.

Blog tags are a wonderful invention, but are they all they are cut out to be? Using blog tags you can link up lots of blogs to each other in all types of ways based on keyword frequency. You choose tags based on whatever keyword you are trying to accentuate. The problem is that an incoming link is only given credit if several conditions are met:

(1) The link needs to come from a page with similar keywords. If you have tagged certain keywords, then we will assume you have the keyword relevancy. That is easy.

(2) The page that you link from needs to be indexed by Google. If a page gets low traffic, Google might not index it, which means you might get zero credit for an incoming link from that page. What I found is that Google will ignore a page which gets less than about 25-35 clicks per month. This problem wouldn’t affect a larger blog, but for small blogs getting less than 40,000 visits per month, your tags will only do you any good if they are for unusual keywords, or for particular entries which for some reason get lots of traffic. Newer posts that have been recently promoted might get a few hundred visits right away, but your older blog entries might get very little traffic even if your newer posts link to them. My outsource blog is tiny and my tags will not get me much play until I grow. A sad fact of life.

(3) If people actually click on a particular link, the value of the link becomes tremendously bigger. Very few people click on tags, but people would be more likely to click on a link in the body of an article, especially if it were dressed up in such a way that they would be encouraged to click on it. I often put suggested reading links at the bottom of articles and they get clicked on a fair amount, especially if they are highly relevant.

The value of a visit from Google
I noticed that despite how much harder it is to get blog traffic, for each additional click to my blog, I get many additional clicks to my site. Roughly 8 site visits per 1 blog visit. What an amazing correlation! I also learned that visits directly from Google give you much more reward in site visits. How does this work? I think that Google tracks how much traffic it gives you and then rewards you by giving your site higher placement as a result. It is a very helpful cycle, but you need skill to manage this relationship.

What is the solution?
Honestly, I am so overworked, that I make this mistake often — I do not put enough links on my posts until after the fact. Since blog entries on my blogs are generally only popular when they are initially promoted, putting the links on after the fact doesn’t help much. The solution is to pre-publish your blog articles and put as many quality outgoing links to other content as possible BEFORE you promote it. Put lots of good tags, and optimize the content so that you can put more tags as well. You can find creative ways to insert more of your essential keywords into the article to gain relevancy for your keywords.

Google is a wonderful tool. Try hard to master the art of blog promotion with Google. Facebook and Twitter have done miracles for me as well and should ideally be used to promote articles with good tags and outgoing links.

Tweets:
(1) #googleanalytics Google’s algorithm for blogs is harder now. It’s harder to get traffic period!

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Stand up comedian at a stand up restaurant in India

January 5, 2014 by 123outsource
Categories: Humor, Popular Posts | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

Well, what do you know? A stand up restaurant! I wonder if anyone ever considered having a stand up comedian perform at this stand up restaurant. I’m a stand up guy. Maybe I’ll improvise a routine right now. I wonder if anyone will mind. Let’s try.

Comedian: This is a great crowd!

Audience: (glances briefly at him)
Comedian: Something interesting happened to me on the way to the show today. I was on a flight from Singapore to Bangalore, and I decided to do a little comedy. I did a take off on take offs. But, the sound of the engines was so loud, that nobody heard the punch lines! The flight attendant had to assist by pointing to the emergency exits with both hands, and then pointed to the comedian during the punch lines with both hands… Then, she held up a sign saying, “The captain has turned off the no laughing sign”.

Flight Attendant: You are free to laugh as much as you like in the cabin areas. For those of you who do not want to hear these jokes, we will be offering ear plugs for $5 per passenger. If you experience turbulance, it might be due to the fact that the people behind you are bouncing up and down with laughter. For the vegetarians on the plane, we have a choice of corny jokes, and tomatoes to throw at the comic if you don’t like the corny jokes.

Comedian: I wish my ex-girlfriend were here. She can’t stand me, but here she wouldn’t have a
choice!

Audience: (several look inquisitively at him)

===============
Comedian: I wouldn’t want to be a proctologist at a place like this. How can you get hemeroids if you never sit down?

Vipool: Are you a proctologist?
Nuntheny: My uncle Ramesh is very constipated and needs to see a proctologist right away.
Shankar: My family doesn’t have this type of problem. Just have a bite of aunty’s
cooking, that will kill any infection and burn a hole through any hemeroid — or ulcer for that matter.

Comedian: Remind your aunty not to invite me for dinner.

Ramesh: I think I heard an anecdote about aunty’s cooking the last time I had
constipation. I was told the problem would be over in a few minutes. Just have three bites of
aunty’s dahl and everything will turn to mush. HOT going in… HOT going out…

==============

Comedian: I guess you save money with a restaurant like this. You don’t have to hire a hostess to get people seated.

Comedian: If I commit a murder here, at least they won’t give me the chair!

Vipool: No danger in that, your jokes are not exactly killing right now.
Nuntheny: Oh no, please do not commit a murder!
Shankar: What are you talking about — kill Vishal over there — that BASTARD!

Comedian: It looks like if you like my jokes, I stand a high chance of getting a standing ovation.

Comedian: This is my first trip to India. I heard that you have arranged marriages here. I want to know if anyone had an arranged divorce.

Vipool: We don’t do it that way. See that bridge in the distance? If we don’t like the marriage, we just jump off. If we don’t die from the fall, we’ll die from ingesting the polluted water in the river.
Shankar: Or, we could end our marriage by jumping in front of a train. There is a good train track for that three blocks up, then take a left.
Comedian: Oh, it’s nice to know you have a choice!

===================

Comedian: I noticed that at Indian toll booths, they use two attendants at each booth. If America would get its head screwed on correctly for once, we would realize that this is a very effective way to solve the unemployment problem overnight.

Comedian: I went to the hills and three people tried to sell me a hat all at once. They surrounded me and kept hounding me to buy a hat. I told them I already had a hat, but needed pineapple, chocolate, and a tour map. So, they disappeared, and came back to harrass me exactly 75 minutes later. All three of them started trying to get me to buy pineapple from them. I told them I had already eaten.

Comedian: I had trouble getting here tonight. I took a cab ride, but the cab driver who spoke fluent English, couldn’t understand my thick New York accent. So, I was forced to figure out a way for him to understand me. I tried speaking slowly. I tried writing everything down, but he couldn’t read English — he could only speak English. So, I decided to mirror his thick South Indian accent.

“Dear respected sir, I am very much in need of a ride to Rajeev Nagar near Patna Temple in Bangalore section 14 next to Uma’s bakery emporeum to Pati Pati restaurant.”

Audience: (Standing as they may be, the audience is finally on the floor roaring with laughter)

Vipool: Your Indian accent is so funny. It is hard to picture that sound coming out of your mouth! We were not expecting that.
Nuntheny: Your South Indian accent is so funny I can’t stand it anymore!
Shankar: Screw your lame jokes. You should come here every night and imitate us. You’ll make great tips. We just want to hear us the way you hear us.

Comedian: I hear you
Audience: (no reaction)
Comedian: (Thick South Indian accent) I HEAR you
Audience: ah ha ha ha …. ha ha ha….

Tweets:
(1) A stand up comedian at a stand up restaurant in India. “They can’t understand my New York accent!”
(2) The captain has turned off the no laughing sign, you are free to laugh in the cabin areas now

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Is it better to have a woman do your phone calls?

January 4, 2014 by 123outsource
Categories: Management, Semi-Popular | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

I do a lot of my own phone calls.
But, I learned that my female counterparts are more popular with our clients than I am. Hmmm, what am I doing wrong? Is it me, or is it my gender? I just had a lady do some of the calls that I normally do, but, she got a much higher sign up rate for our newsletter list than I get? Part of it is gender, but she is also slower and more patient — clients like that. Interestingly enough, I once hired a guy with a high pitched voice. He was very popular over the phone because people THOUGHT he was a woman.

But, is hiring a woman always good?
Speaking slowly, clearly, listening, and being able to answer questions is very important. I am a boss, and in a huge hurry because I have more tasks than I do time. People like someone who has the time to go a little slower, so hiring someone else who has less on their late is a great idea.

But, when should you hire a man?
People respect men more as authority figures as a general rule. I am a very gentle guy, but I get more respect as an authority as my company than my saleslady. The irony is that she is much tougher than I am, but because of her gender, she is treated as less powerful than I am. The fact that she is not the owner is part of the reason she is treated as less powerful. But, actually, she is very powerful, because she influences me. If she says a particular client is trouble, I will “write them up” in my files, and that client could be in trouble with us in the long run! I would say:

For call lists that involve a person of authority, a gentle man with a manly voice might get a better result than a tough woman!

Boy, the world is such an unfair place!

Tweets:
(1) Proven fact — it is better to have women do many types of customer service phone calls!
(2) Women are more patient with phone customers. They listen better than men. Ironic, considering guys spend so much time listening to them!
(3) Women listen better to phone customers than men. Ironic, considering men spend so much time listening to women!

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